The MAGA PSALM
(with apologies to the genuinely religious)
Trump is my shepherd, and I am His sheep.
He maketh me to lie down in darkness: He guideth me into muddy waters.
He shrinketh my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of gullibility for his brand’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of intelligence and reason, I shall fear no enlightenment, for He is always posting. His autographed bible ($66.88), His signed, numbered gold sneakers ($499.99) and His limited edition American flag ear-bandage (set of six, $49.99—machine washable!) they comfort me.
He preparest a Big Mac feast (Trump-fries extra) before me in the presence of Radical Transgender Socialists! He anointeth my head with snake oil; my Trump-autographed gold-plated MAGA cup ($129.99) runneth over.
Surely ignorance and delusion will follow me all the days of my life and I shall dwell in Mar-a-Lago forever.