Latest White House Schedule
(take it or leave it)
UPCOMING WHITE HOUSE SCHEDULE:
Monday-- Announces that Napoleon was the second greatest president America ever had.
Tuesday--Issues an executive order that henceforth he will be addressed by all staff, members of congress and the press as: "Your Celestial Magnificence".
Wednesday--Declares that The Big Mac with Cheese will be the main dish at all State Dinners--(Limited Edition Trump Fries to available a la carte).
Thursday--Declaring that" there are good people on both sides," commissions statues of Confederate Generals to be installed in the Rotunda.
Friday-- Tears out the Rose Garden and replaces it with a Presidential Miniature Golf Course, to be managed by the Saudi Sovereign Wealth Fund.
Saturday--Initiates the first Presidential Beauty and swimsuit contest for young women. All women to pass a personal inspection and gender verification by the President.
Sunday--Announces the creation of the PHSC--The Presidential Home Shopping Channel--which will operate out of the Presidential Residence and have exclusive rights to the sale of all Trump Merchandise..
Addendumb:
-Announces plans to for official monthly weenie roast and book burning on the White House Lawn--
-Replaces the Public Broadcasting System with 24/7 live and archived broadcasts of International Extreme Cage Fighting.
-Creates National Trump Youth and Kultur Corps--distinctive campaign hats and brown uniforms to be designed by the First Lady
-Creates a commission to study the feasibility of keeping only the Second Amendment to the Constitution and eliminating all the rest.
--Elon Musk to be granted title of Duke of Earl and declares that "nothing can stop him."
--Redesigns US Flag to be half Stars and Bars and to prominently feature his image..
-- Orders that, henceforth, any 4 year old found in the oval office be immediately deported and sent to an Ecuadorian prison.